Only when I am reconciled with myself can I think about reconciling other people around me, who are at odds with me or with others. Reconciliation means peacemaking, clearing the way for the different parties, building a bridge between quarreling groups. But it does not mean smoothing everything over, making everything harmonious. Different points of view must remain. Reconciliation means taking the other person or group seriously, and also taking myself and my needs seriously.
~ from ANGELS OF GRACE by Anselm Gruen