Love has to go through darkness and pain and endurance and a stark acceptance before it can come out into the far light of the sun.
~ from THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SUN by Madeleine L'Engle
It is only when we come to total and unconditional "love" of our own darkness that we can know God incarnate in us, loving and understanding us in our totality. Pascal says that no one can love God without knowing their own misery.