Lovers always have the sense of something given. They cannot find in themselves an adequate explanation for all that they feel and understand. In the intimate giving and receiving of their love, they not only reveal and discover their own truest selves, but come face to face with the mystery of God. The very acceptance and enjoyment of the gift they have received brings them into the presence of the Giver.
I am not sure at what point I realized that the man whom I had seen as my all-powerful and invincible father not only wanted me as I am, but also needed me to stand by him through the long journey into his own death. My father needed my friendship. It still seems to me to be an astonishing gift of God's grace that in the last years of his life I was able to stand with him as his friend who was his adult child.