Each day, I remind myself that we are not here to control the environment, but to learn the lessons of humility and surrender. When I am capable of that, my life takes on a wholly different meaning. I no longer feel so small and separate. It is as though I am being held by a power that is both infinitely great and infinitely tender. My love does not exist in isolation; rather it is supported and enriched by my love for this world. This kind of trust is not something of our own creation; it comes to us in a moment of extraordinary grace.
Six weeks after my brother's death, the night came for Dad to die. The doctor came in telling us he could do nothing for him. And then, with a gasp, Dad took his last breath. The air was still and yet there was a Presence larger than life as Dad left his body. The Presence was palpable and real, yet unseen. I did not trust this, yet I knew it to be true. "It feels like a birth," my sisters said... Years later, I was sitting at my desk. Suddenly, I heard a voice, my father's voice. There was no one physically there. And yet, I heard my father speaking to me. "Bobby and I are together now. We are doing fine. We're with you more than you think."