The principles of tea Rikyu (the most revered Japanese master, 16th century) set forth are harmony, respect, purity and tranquility. Harmony is the oneness of host and guest with the flowing rhythms of nature ... Respect is the sincerity of heart that allows one to have an open relationship with the other participants, humbly recognizing their dignity ... Purity is removing the dust of the world from one's heart and mind ... Tranquility comes with the constant practice of harmony, respect, and purity in everyday life. In this state of mind, having found peace and beauty within oneself, a bowl of tea can truly be shared with another.
There is a moment when you realize that you are going to have to die in reality, not just pretend to die. Not just read about dying, not just recite Rumi late at night, but really, day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment, go into the darkness of the Love of God and really surrender, a moment when you realize that to do that, you will need Divine courage.